So this summer has been incredibly busy. My oldest son is getting ready to start Kindergarten in September, so June was filled with activities for the end of school; like field trips, music concerts, field day and graduation!! It is crazy to think that this child who I gave birth to just 5 short years ago is going to be starting full time school, from this moment on my life and his changes! It is an exciting and amazing road we have been on.
Though ,I have to tell you this is not Evan's first time in school and away from me. He has been in a preschool program since he was 3 years old because he didn't talk. I haven't shared too much of my struggles with Evan because in my mind he has always been my perfect son.
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| Momma and Evan. |
When he was about 18 months I noticed that he wasn't really using any kind of language to communicate with us. At first, I thought, he was just trying to still be a baby because I had just had Ellie. It never got better, so at about two months before his 2nd birthday we had him evaluated. It ended up that he was speech and learning delayed along with having a few issues with his gross and fine motor skills. I was devastated to say the least. I had him tested five times for autism and each time it was negative. I was relieved but still wondering what was wrong with my son.
Through therapy and speech therapy he has excelled and developed into a typical 5 year old. It has not been easy, I have worked my butt off with him to help him develop into the boy he is today. I will never be able to express the admiration I have for the teachers and therapists that helped Evan along the way. But he made it. And not only has he made it, he will start Kindergarten in September unclassified without an IEP and I seriously could not be happier. Evan did it, he overcame his disability and he is a strong intelligent boy.
Confession time: there is a part of me that wants to rewind time, I want to remember every inch of him as a newborn, the way he always smelled of milk and cornflowers. My mind reaches to recall his first crawl that lead to his first steps. I want to etch in my memory the way he used to call 'momma momma momma'. I have not been momma in a long time, now I am hardly mommy I have become just mom, or the ever loving ma. He was my strength when he was born, he lead me from the dark side to a light one. I am not ready for the heart aches that comes with growing up. I'm not looking forward to the time when a friend decides they don't want to be friends with him anymore. I want to protect him forever, I want him to stay my gentle sweet boy.
Come September it changes. I won't be able to always protect him. Don't get me wrong, I love that he is growing up, and I am eager to see what life has in store for my beautiful boy. But I wish, just for a moment, that I could go back and hold my precious baby and drink him
up in all of his newborn innocence.
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| And off he goes.. |
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