16 Personalties, and I am an ENFP

Like anyone on Social Media (Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest etc.) I have seen these tests for the Briggs Myers' 16 Personalities test, it has been connected to seeing what Harry Potter character you are most like or what famous person you share qualities with and so on. I am usually skeptical of these kinds of tests on Facebook that lead you to a Buzz-feed quiz and it is not extremely scientific. BUT, I liked the idea of the test so I found this test and I took it. I followed the instructions to a 'T" and answered each question honestly even if it didn't paint me in the greatest of lights.

I got  "ENFP" with my variant being turbulent and my role as diplomat. As I read the description of this, every time I read a new line I was like "OMG THAT IS TOTALLY ME!!"

Hello Erin

• Curious- I am curious to the point where sometimes I can come off as nosey. It has caused a degree of contempt in some of my past relationships.
• Observant- One of my favorite things to do with my mom was to observe people on the boardwalk in Sea Isle City or Atlantic City, we of course called it people watching, but I would observe people make up stories about them in my head, and just watch every day interactions.
• Energetic/Enthusiastic- I am totally enthusiastic especially with new ideas and new people in my life. I have the tendency to forget about older friends and or projects when new people and things come into view.
• Excellent Communicators- Well I mean, I do write, and I communicate very well to those around me. I have a way of drawing people in with my words. I may sound conceited, but I know my strengths.
• How To Relax/Carefree- It is a common theme in my blog and Facebook page that I truly think that life is too short to be so serious. It's not always about the money in the bank but the memories that we take from life. 
• Friendly- I am often told that I am one of the nicest people, and how friendly and open I am. I am not one of those people with "resting bitch face". I am a genuine people person, but not a fake one, I really care about everyone I meet regardless if they are a feature player in my life story or a supporting act. I care, I love everyone.
• Intuitive- Absolutely, a lot of times even after I have met someone once I feel like I know them on a different level.
• Seeks Harmony With Everyone- I loathe confrontation, I want harmony in life in both my personal life and all around me. I do not do well in chaos.
• Needs Acceptance From Everyone- I have heard over and over again in my life that not everyone is going to like me, and though I know this it still makes me sad that I can not please everyone.
• Sometimes You NEED to Unplug- True, sometimes all the social media aspects of life can really get to me, or if I have had a long run of being with people I need some time just for me to unplug and collect my thoughts.
• Hate Having Structure and Being Told What to Do- No truer words have ever been spoken. You tell me to do something one way, I am going to do it the complete opposite way and still have the same outcome.
• Highly Emotional- WELL I once had the nickname Emotional Erin...so I guess it is safe to say yeah that is me.
• Over think/Stress Easily- I don't sit up till 3am over thinking for nothing.

Famous ENFP's

• Robin Williams
• Sandra Bullock
• Walt Disney
• Mark Twain 
• Oscar Wilde
• Arianna Huffington
• Ariel (yup the mermaid)
• Ron Weasley 
• Penelope Garcia (who I often get told I look like, from Criminal Minds)
• Mercutio (From Romeo and Juliet A PLAGUE ON BOTH YOUR HOUSES!!)

I must say that this personality test totally opened my eyes to things I never even consciously noticed about myself. I suggest everyone to honestly take the test and see where they rank in the scheme of things. I am honored to be an "ENFP" it seems to have shown a new light to me, and I enjoy learning new things.

Sad Songs Say So Much

I have days that I just NEED to cry. One of those days is today. I'm not sure what is going on in my head and heart but I feel like I am not whole. It has a lot to do with this time of year. If you follow me I wrote October ,and it explains why I start feeling this way this time of year.

Anyway, when the emotions build up and I feel like I need to release them I have a list of songs that make me cry, and since I am an emotional masochist I decided to write the list down. I am sorry if I seem a bit out of it recently, I am going to try and write happier things coming up but my mind is a mess and I need to release.

• Someone Like You-Adele. Adele has a way to invoke every damn emotion in the world, with just these words; "Don't forget me I beg. 'I'll remember' you said, sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead" We all know that feeling when you love someone but they have moved on and you just can't seem to let them out of your life.

• So Far Away-Avenged Sevenfold. I am a HUGE A7X fan, for years. There drummer passed away a few year back and they wrote this song about him. As a fan that touched me, but this song came out after my mom passed away so it pulls on my emotions there. "Now and then I try to find a place where you can stay, you can stay awake forever." "I love you, you were ready. The pain is strong the urges rise. But I'll see you when He lets me. Your pain is gone, your hands untied." Losing my mom is a whole other blog but this only one of the songs that makes me think of her.

•  God Only Knows-The Beach Boys. I think this song is on my list not only for the lyrics but the haunting melodies that encompass every Beach Boys song, but it is one simple line that does it for me "God only knows what I'd be without you."

•  In My Life-The Beatles There are a plethora of Beatles songs that being so many emotions, that maybe one day I will write a whole blog about my infinite love for The Beatles. But as far as true tear inducing "In My Life" is the winner on that. I, like most little girls, often thought about what my wedding day would be like, and what songs would be played. This song tops the list of songs that I would dance with my dad to. My pops is a huge Beatles fan and I think this would be the perfect ode to him. Sadly, at 31 I am still not married but I am hoping that day comes and I can dance with my dad while singing; "Though I know I'll never lose affection for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life I love you more. In my life I love you more."

•  Tears in Heaven-Eric Clapton. Simply you have no soul if this doesn't get to you just a little. "Beyond the door, there's peace I'm sure. And I know there'll be no more tears in Heaven."

•  My Way- Frank Sinatra. It sums up the totality of life. This one reminds me of grandmom, she lived life she loved fiercely and was a strong old broad when she passed away at 80 years old. She introduced me to big band and singer and song writers of the 40's and 50's. She taught me so much, she was truly a second mom to me. I wish she was still here to tell her stories. But this song is so her. "I've loved I've laughed and cried. I've had my fill, my share of losing. And as tears subside, I find it all so amusing. To think I did all that, and may I say not in a shy way, oh no oh no not me, I did it my way." 

• Fix You- Coldplay.  There is just so much emotion in this song, between the haunting organ to Chris Martins emotions coming through as he sings "Tears stream down your face when you lose something that you can't replace." We have all been there trying to fix ourselves or someone when the pain is just so evident.

•  Black-Pearl Jam. Pearl Jam is another band that has some very lyrically heavy songs, but Black is haunting, when you listen to it it's the melodies in the guitars and bass, along with Eddie Vedder's piercing voice makes you feel something deep inside, especially with "I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be the sun in somebody elses sky why, why, why can't it be mine?!?" You can just feel the pain coming through his voice.

And finally, it's a happy song seriously. But it makes me cry because I have so much hope for myself. I haven't exactly been the best Erin I could be. But I am trying for the two little people I have been blessed with, but also for myself. For the love that I want, and the love I deserve.

•   At Last- Etta James. For the one my heart will speak to "You smiled yeah you smiled and then the spell was cast. For you are mine at last."

These are just a few songs on my long list of tear inducing songs, but these are the 100% guarantee that no matter where I am I will need a box of tissues to soak up the stream that is about to break free from my sad blue eyes.

Ellie, My Little Song Bird.

My Songbird...

"For you there'll be no more crying. For you, the sun will be shinning. And I feel that when I am with you it's alright, I know it's right. To you I'll give the world, to you I'll never be cold. 'Cause I feel that when I'm with you, it's alright I know it's right. And the songbirds are singing like they know the score. And I love you, I love you, I love you like never before. And I wish you all the love in the world, but most of all I wish it from  myself. And the songbirds keep singing like they know the score, and I love you, I love you, I love you, like never before..."

My little Eleanor Dee, Ellie....she has been the coolest thing I have ever come across. Now don't get me wrong I love both my children with everything in my soul. But Ellie is an old soul who has roamed this planet before. We have this amazing cosmic connection. I remember the first time I held and looked at her and the only thing I can say is it felt like I was coming home. Her eyes have always been familar to me. 

The song above is 'Songbird" by Fleetwood Mac. I have sang this song to my Ellie since birth. It sums up perfectly the infinite ammount of love I have for her.  I look forward to her growing up and getting big, I can not wait to see the mischeif she will cause. I want to be there for her when her heart breaks the first time, I want to be her best friend when she is older. I want her to know in every single way that I always have and always will love her. 

My Ellie my Songbird, my light, my laugh, my love...

A Picture is Worth A Thousand Words

I took this picture the other day while driving (PLEASE whatever you do don't do that it's a huge distraction, but this was a moment) And I thought that it puts into picture the first part of my last blog "October"

Home <3

October

October.....

So many emotions that come to mind when I think of October. I find it to be a beautiful month, warm (ish) days and cool nights, the smell of wood fires, sound of leaves crunching under boots. And the colors...well the vibrant yellows, deep oranges, and garnet reds are everywhere. It is like nature's
spectacular finale, one last song before the world goes cold and gray.

October....

I think of this month in fondness and in fear. Fondness because the excitement of Halloween and tricks or treats. The cooler air ushering a new stage of life. Fear because November is knocking. I hate November. November is death.


Sometimes I wish I could close my eyes and go back...October 2008 and say things I wish I would have said. To watch time a bit closer, to love longer, to celebrate, to feel the warmth of a smile, and even the coolness of a criticism. To not know the emptiness or the pain. To maybe believe that in the end it would be different. To hug one last time. To confess and to cry. To be told the truth from the one person it meant the most from. To be a daughter and her student.

October...the last month before it all came too real.

Even When The Philadelphia Eagles Win, They Still Let Me Down; The Bet.

I thought September was busy, October has a been a blur!! I am writing and will be on a posting spree soon, but today I had a specific thing I wanted to write about and post.

If you don't know me personally, I am from the Philadelphia region. I am also a die hard 100% fan of all things Philadelphia including the Phillies (WHOO HOO 2008) Flyers and Eagles. Because I am a die hard fan of Philadelphia sports I am constantly disappointed. It goes with the territory of being a Philadelphia fan, and I have been able to live with it. I get the jabs from my friends who are fans of "better" sports teams, but in the summer I'd rather be watching the Phils even if they are on a losing streak, in the fall and winter I bleed green and orange.

This year though, my Philadelphia Eagles are kicking ass! Seriously they are 5-1, Chip Kelly is awesome as a head coach, our special teams are superb and though he isn't putting up the numbers like last year Shady McCoy is a beast along with our country boy quarterback Nick Foles. I am excited for this season!! 

Anyway, this past Sunday night The Eagles played our division rival (well I guess all of the teams in our division are our rivals) The New York Giants. I hate loathe anything New York sports related, talk about cocky ass hats that are always talking out their asses. So, I have (or had) a friend who is a Giants fan and we made a bet, the bet was something personal, but still a bet. The details really do no matter. This friend (?) of mine would text during the day and just generally be friendly with each other. I considered this person a good enough friend to share personal details with and value their opinion and such. I was also under the impression that they felt the same as I did.

Come Sunday, I was excited because Giants and Eagles were playing (but also The Walking Dead was back on, but that is a whole other story) and this was the game we had our "bet" on. In the days prior to this, my friend wasn't as what I call "textative" (yes, that is a real word I made up, and yes you can use it) but this person in going through a lot of personal changes and I respect that, and I actually understand that since, I too have gone through a lot of personal changes. Fast forward to the game The Eagles not only won that game, THEY DOMINATED it the score was 27-0!!!! Now, first of all that was so incredible to see, not only did the Eagles spank the Giants, the Giants couldn't even get past our (somewhat) weaker defense. Secondly, I had won this bet. 

It has been 6 days since the Eagles handed out an ass whooping of a century, and it's been almost 7 days since I heard from my "friend".  I am hurt and confused, but mostly I am disappointed that once again, even when they win, the Eagles have let me down.

It is silly really, I shouldn't even be bothered by something like this when I have so many other sensational things happening in my life right now. I just feel hurt. I feel let down. But, once again I will pick up my green bleeding self and continue being Erin. That is all I can be, and if who I am isn't good enough for some one I guess I am better off without them in my life.

The Trouble With Facebook

Hello October!!

I said a few days ago that I was going to sit down and write this week, and yesterday a friend of mine made a post on Facebook about how fake Facebook is, and it got my little head thinking about not only how fake Facebook or Instagram is, but what the most annoying things on Facebook are. So I took the liberty to make a list of ten things that annoy the crap out of me on social media. And before anyone says anything mean, I know that I am guilty of about more than half of these things, so yes in part I annoy myself.

1. The friend who is always posting about cleaning their house. I get it, kids are messy people in general, they are walking domestic tornadoes. But I can almost 100% guarantee you that you are not spending 7 hours a day reorganizing the little ones toy corner, nor are you spending 2 hours on your hands and knees scrubbing and scrubbing. Let's be honest friends, you are Instagraming or Facebooking the one corner of your house that is clean, then you are back to shopping online or watching you DVR. You are kidding no one.
2. The friend that is always optimistic, like this "Flood waters are spilling over from the torrential rains we have gotten recently, at least there is always sunny days after the rainy ones." Seriously? There is destruction every where, cars and houses are ruined, and the most creative thing you can come up with is look forward to the sunny day?! C'mon friend at least acknowledge that some thing disastrous has happened. I get that optimism boosts morale but some times that overly-sweet-over-the-top sentiments are annoying.
3. Being random just to be random post, this one is one that bothers me to no end. It goes like this "If sunshine had a smell it would smell like bug's butts, because Internet." It's not funny when a 15 year old does these posts, and certainly isn't funny when a man or woman who is knocking on the mid-thirties door is doing it. You are not funny. You are just putting words together to try to be a hipster or something. Please Stop.
4. Extremist friends. This is a touchy subject, but you can not rely on the extreme side of anything may it be left or right leaning because they will always sensationalize a situation to get a stir out of the right people. This piggy backs into people who believe in extreme conspiracy theories, people who think all Conservatives hate the LGBT community, and all Liberals who think all Conservatives are bigots. I know we are free to think and write our opinions, but you have to sit back and see that extremism in anyway isn't the best policy for a nation of people who are actually politically in the middle. Stop spewing this garbage, please.
5. Selfie queens/kings. Do I really need to elaborate? Okay, here is the thing, selfies are awesome when you post them sparingly. I like seeing progress shots of my friends that are losing weight, or even the ones that have mastered a new make-up technique. And I even enjoy the selfies of friends that are out at a social event of some sort. But, I do not need to see your flared nostrils and duck faces EVERY.DAMN.DAY. You are beautiful no matter what, you do not need to keep posting yourself to get validation. You should be able to validate yourself, not 100 likes on Instagram or Facebook.  This also wraps into selfies at inappropriate places. I was in New York City this past summer at The 9/11 Memorial site where the reflection pools are, and you would not believe how many people of all ages I saw taking happy selfie pictures in the footprint of where over 2,000 people were killed. That is an inappropriate selfie opportunity. So is taking selfies at funerals, and yes I have seen Instagrams of people at funerals. 
6. Back handedly passive aggressive towards a person statuses, like this "Everyone knows you are a dead beat mom, bitch you are crazy" WELL, you went all the way to call the person out, you may as well tag them or some thing. I get we all get frustrated over things and we feel we need to vent, but you kind of just look childish doing this. Let it roll off your back, if the person is that bad karma will be their punishment.
7. People who talk about themselves in the 3rd person, I will use my name as example "New and improved Erin is up and running and there is nothing that can ruin my mood." Usually followed by annoying hash tags like #onlyonelifetolive #singlemom #truestory. 
8. Like and Share this meme and so and so will donate $128,025,789 to starving children in some foreign world. No they won't. Not going to happen. Please stop feeding into this bull crap. The only trend on Facebook that actually raised money was the ALS ice bucket challenge. Sharing a picture of  a cornucopia is not going to end world hunger. 
9. The play-by-play friend. This is the person that will post about 3,4945 times a day and it will be the most redundant, mediocre things like "Woke up rolled over made breakfast" "Out the door here comes my Starbucks pumpkin spice coffee #fall" "Took the little one to the doctor he is 43.2 pounds. At least he likes my food" and so on. Being a stay at home mom or even a single mom or dad is a lonely place. Sometimes the only person you have to talk to is a 3 year old. So these friends turn to social media to give us a play-by-play of their life. I care about you and your life but I do not need to know the time and date and all the details of the things you ate for breakfast lunch and dinner, and I certainly do not need to know when you went to the bathroom. Not my business, and by doing this you are only inviting people in to keep criticizing your life, you do not need that kind of negativity.
10. And last and maybe the most irritating are braggers, braggers of all sorts. I like knowing that my friends are being successful in life, but there comes a time when the bragging gets old. You know the statuses that have a certain air about them, like hahaha I did this and no one else can. Or look I made my Pinterest inspired  fall decor come out perfect I bet you can't. It's like a new level of domestic bullying almost. Stop bragging you sound full of yourself and ain't nobody got time for that.

What about you? Are there other Facebook or any other form of social media behaviors that bug the crap out of you? Let me know!!